The Road Less Traveled. Book by M. Scott Peck. (1978). Simon and Schuster, Inc. Perhaps the best single overview of growth processes and relationships available.
A General Theory of Love. Book by Thomas Lewis et al. (2000). Vintage Books. A scientific and evolutionary perspective on how relationships and therapy work.
*How People Grow. Book by Henry Cloud & John Townsend. (2001). Zondervan. Understanding the psychological growth process from a Christian perspective.
*The Life Model: Living from the Heart that Jesus Gave You. Book by Jim Friesen et al. (2004). Shepherd’s House, Inc. Understanding how trauma and neglect affect personality and growth, and how people are healed in relationship.
*Solutions for Life. Videos by Henry Cloud & John Townsend. Brief video clips providing advice on over 100 psychological, relationship, and spiritual topics.
Boundaries: When to Say Yes, When to Say No to Take Control of Your Life. Book by Henry Cloud & John Townsend. (1992). Zondervan. Learning how to take personal responsibility and allow others to do so as well.
The Dance of Anger. Book by Harriet Lerner. (1997). Harper and Row. Understanding anger and changing related intimate relationship patterns.
Codependent No More: How to Stop Controlling Others and Start Caring for Yourself. Book by Melody Beattie. (1986). Hazelden. Strategies for taking personal responsibility and letting others take responsibility for themselves.
* Everybody’s normal till you get to know them. Book by John Ortberg. (2003). Zondervan. Understanding the difficulties and rewards of committed community relationships.
*Counseling Adult Children of Alcoholics. Book by Sandra Wilson. (1989). W Publishing Group. Identifying and recovering from the effects of addiction in the family.
Beyond Consequences, Logic, and Control: A Love Based Approach to Helping Children with Severe Behaviors. Book by Heather Forbes & B. Brian Post. (2006). Understanding and healing the trauma behind scary child and adolescent behaviors when logic and consequences don't work. Find videos, free resources, seminars, and parent coaching at www.beyondconsequences.com.
Raising an Emotionally Intelligent Child. Book by John Gottman. (1997). Simon and Schuster. Communicating with children and teens in ways that build connection and provide a foundation for successful behavior management.
Parenting from the Inside Out. Book by Daniel Siegel and Mary Hartzell, (2003). Penguin. Understanding how parents' patterns from early life interact with children's experiences to support or deter children's abilities to succeed in life, and how these interactions can be changed.
Parenting with Love and Logic. Book by Foster Cline and Jim Fay. (1990). Pinon Press. Effective strategies for parenting young children.
Parenting Teens with Love and Logic. Book by Foster Cline and Jim Fay. (2006). Pinon Press. Effective strategies for parenting older children and teenagers.
Getting the Love You Want: A Guide for Couples. Book by Harville Hendrix. (2008, 20th Anniversary Edition). Holt Paperbacks. Changing ineffective patterns with your partner to get your needs met and heal from past hurts.
Hold Me Tight: Seven Conversations for a Lifetime of Love. Book by Sue Johnson. (2008). Little, Brown, & Company. Understanding the hidden needs behind the behaviors and communication strategies that hurt your marriage and relationships.
The Five Love Languages: The Secret to Love that Lasts. Book by Gary Chapman. (2010). Northfield Publishing. Learning to communicate and receive love effectively with your partner.
*Laugh your way to a better marriage. Video series by Mark Gungor. Understanding how your spouse thinks, communicates, and approaches sexuality.
*The Gift of Sex: A Guide to Sexual Fulfillment. Book by Clifford and Joyce Penner. (2003). Word, Inc. Basic guide to understanding and increasing sexual pleasure.
*Marriage Takes More Than Love. Book by Jack & Carole Mayhall. (1996). Navpress. Improving communication in marriage and love relationships.
101 Questions to Ask Before You Get Engaged. Book by H. Norman Wright. (2004). Harvest House Publishers. Questions and conversations that help couples identify areas of strength and growth in their relationship before they commit to each other.
In a Different Voice. Book by Carol Gilligan. (1993). Harvard University Press. Understanding how women grow to value both self and others during life stages.
*Gender and Grace. Book by Mary Stewart VanLeeuwen. (1990). InterVarsity Press. Understanding gender identity from both a scientific and Christian perspective.
*The Return of the Prodigal Son. Book by Henri Nouwen. (1992). Doubleday. Overcoming loneliness, shame, and guilt through a deeper understanding of God’s love.
*The Search for Significance. Book by Robert McGee. (2003). Thomas Nelson Publishers. Overcoming the ways in which we define ourselves through performance, approval, blame, shame, and guilt.
Performance Addiction: The Dangerous New Syndrome and How to Stop it From Ruining Your Life. Book by Arthur Ciaramicoli. (2004). Wiley Publishers. Identifying and changing the ways in which the need to succeed impedes work, relationships, self worth, and other areas of life.
Healing Grace: Finding Freedom from the Performance Trap. Book by David Seamands. (2002). Light and Life Communications. Healing trauma, guilt, negative emotions, self-esteem through a deeper understanding of grace.
*Traveling Mercies: Some Thoughts on Faith. Book by Anne Lamott. (1999). Random House. Hilarious autobiography of a woman pursuing faith amidst addiction, depression, and anxiety.
Man’s Search for Meaning. Book by Victor Frankl. (1984). Washington Square Press. Learning the importance of meaning and how to choose it when circumstances feel meaningless.
*The Will of God as a Way of Life. Book by Jerry Sittser. (2004). Zondervan. Understanding various approaches to discerning the will of God and life meaning.
Emotional and Relational Self Help Skills. Handouts and lessons in increasing peace through mindfulness, distress tolerance, emotional regulation, and interpersonal effectiveness.
*Where is God When it Hurts? Book by Phillip Yancey. (1990). Zondervan. Finding meaning in pain from various angles and experiences.
*The Gift of Pain. Book by Paul Brand and Phillip Yancey. (1997). Zondervan. Understanding the uses and potential meanings of pain through an examination of leprosy, a disease that destroys because of the inability to feel pain.
*Reaching Out: The Three Movements of the Spiritual Life. Book by Henri Nouwen. (1966). Doubleday. Understanding the path of growth out of loneliness and into personal and spiritual relationships.
*Courage and Calling: Embracing Your God-Given Potential. Book by Gordon Smith. (1999). InterVarsity Press. Discerning your personality and vocation through life transitions to and increase life satisfaction.
The Enneagram Institute. A growth-focused analysis of personality, dividing people into 9 types according to core needs, strengths, and growth areas.
Similar Minds Personality Tests. Free brief personality summaries and tests.
Only so much can be accomplished in 45 minutes per week. But there are many things that you can do on your own to make therapy progress more quickly and effectively. You may be able to gain deeper insight into your current concerns by exploring some of the resources listed by topic below.
I have listed these items because they have been helpful to me, associates, or clients at some point of the growth journey, but I do not agree with everything contained in these resources. As you explore them, please use your own discernment to determine which parts of them may be helpful to you. If they bring up questions for you, feel free to raise these issues during our sessions.
I have asterisked (*) the resources that are grounded in a Christian world view for those clients who have requested that therapy be conducted from that perspective.
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Jennifer Diebel, MA, LPC